Word Search

Navelgazing Midwife has been playing a game of Word Search. People come to my business website using a variety of search terms. Although not quite as wide (and odd) a selection as hers, I was intrigued to see this recently: "canadian birthing ceremonies"

There must have been a hop or two in that person's journey to me, as I don't think the word "ceremonies" appears anywhere on my site. But s/he didn't find the whole term on anyone else's site, either.

Fact is, we don't have any ceremonies. Unless you count inviting the partner to cut the cord and taking a bundled baby picture. (Unless you count drying, diapering, ointmenting and injecting, tagging and wrapping the newborn before the mother's even had a good look at what she's produced. Unless you count ushering the new mother out of her birthing room in a wheelchair, connected to an IV drip.) Even the traditional "it's a (insert visibly apparent sex here)!" announcement is becoming redundant as more and more parents are choosing to discover the sex of their fetus during one of their increasingly frequent ultrasound examinations.

I'm not a big ceremony person, but I sometimes feel the lack. I think it would be nice to have more pomp and circumstance around major life transitions. I've found it really difficult to institute things in my family that aren't readily reflected in the dominant culture. My daughters would have curled up and died if I had tried to have some kind of menarche ceremonies for them, for instance.

But people are trying. The standard North American baby shower is still popular, but it's really just an opportunity for people to spend money on Stuff. Some are now looking toward Mother Blessing ceremonies, which are more about transferring stories and good wishes to the pregnant person. A class client of mine had a gathering where every woman who attended brought a bead. These beads came primarily from jewelry each participant already had. The beads were given one by one, then strung as a bracelet for the recipient to wear as she laboured. During labour she could touch the beads and feel the strength of the donors. I think this sounds like a wonderful way of welcoming a maiden into the community of mothers.

My former doula partner and I were developing a labour gown which would be packaged with fabric paints so that friends and family members could make handprints or write well wishes on the garment. In this way the woman would be literally surrounded by their energy at her birth.

These things still don't fully address the birth itself. I'd love to see more ceremony and less procedure at the births I attend, particularly in hospital. I try to inspire my clients to make their births their own, but this is really hard to do in the emergency- and protocol-driven medical environment.

Any suggestions, anyone?